Ask yourself: Am I holding any grudges? Do I need to forgive myself? Am I struggling to move on from the events of my past? Is it difficult for me to accept the things I cannot change?
If the answer to these questions is a yes, you need to check for reconciliation with your past.
Why should you reconcile?
To create separation and order from your past by bringing parts of your experience in alignment with your present reality, therefore allowing yourself to flow in a state of wholeness and serenity.
To reconcile is to clean up your emotional closet. It’s about letting go of what no longer serves your greater good while making peace with past events that could have left an impact on you.
Oftentimes it is understood that reconciliation is just forgiveness for past mistakes. However, that’s not true. It is an interpersonal process of expressing underlying emotions, discussing the source of the issue, exchanging stories and beginning to reestablish trust.
It can be very difficult to reconcile with events that have happened in the past, especially when you cannot change the past. When left unresolved, past events can have an immutable effect over our present circumstances and suppressed emotions could inevitably lead to an imploding effect – further manifesting undesirable outcomes. Over time this can lead to conditioned responses to external events, pushing us into a state of conflict with our consciousness.
Ways to reconcile with your past
The areas of your mind that require working on reconciliation are typically charged with emotions. Triggers such as betrayal, disagreements, being let down or having a rift can often change the course of your relationships and enable you to follow a trigger response from unresolved trauma. While reconciliation is entirely subjective to the state or extent of your trigger, starting somewhere is the best way to address the issue.
Here are some ways you can start to reconcile with your past:
- Take responsibility for your part of the issue. Realize where you were wrong about your part and accept your part of the situation
- Be willing to engage in an honest discussion with anyone who can offer perspective
- Share your intention to make things right with the other person or situation, even if you cannot actually arrive at immediately correcting it
- Apologize if needed for your part of the situation. Also accept and empathize with the other person or situational perspective
- Realize that you are not your past and by emulating a response to your past, you are simply recreating it for your future
- Build your circle of trust and emotional safety. Surround yourself with people who will keep you real
Begin now by thinking of the things that you are grateful for today. Sincere gratitude is the best way to shift your focus from suffering and pain to joy, peace, love and abundance.